Â When I was younger my life seemed so awful. What pre-teen doesn’t think that though? My mom has always favored my brother and given him all the attention which left me to act out and screw up without any reprocussions. My “boyfriend’s” came and went sometimes within weeks from each other. I put boyfriends in quotations because they were really just guys I liked and would hang out with but couldn’t literally date them. Finally I found an older guy who was sweet, funny, cute and everything a girl in an immature realtionship could want.Â He was my “boyfriend” for a year and a half. The relationship turned from good to bad after 9 months.Â For the rest of the nine months, I was afraid to answer my phone because I really didn’t want to talk to him. I would stay in the house when he came to visit and hope my mom would ask him to leave. I was scared to leave him but didn’t want to be with him. When we finally broke up, it felt like the end of the world.Â I had never felt so awful in my life and thoughts of suicide actually crossed my mind.
High school was my turning point. No more immature relationships; I thought I was just going to focus on high school. Then I met my husband. We are high school sweethearts. We dated from our freshman year until marriage. I have his son and although marriage takes a lot more work than we had thought, we are happy.Â When I was down, he would pick me up. The touch of his hands and a gentle kiss on the forehead was always his way of comforting me, and it always worked. As I told him the stories of the things I went through by jumping into the previous relationship he assured me that he would never be that person and always told me, “you have to be alive to enjoy life”. And now, if I wasn’t alive I would not be able to raise my son, I would not be able to continue my education and I wouldn’t be with my family who I love dearly.
Therefore: I must live to enjoy life.